View Full Post Birth certificates have gotta be the most pointless documents. Why do I have to prove that I was born? I’m literally right here.
View Full Post I NEED TO FORGET THE PAST. GET A FRESH START. KEVIN, HOW’S YOUR MINDWIPE MACHINE COMING ALONG? IT’S STILL JUST VODKA I STILL AM COOL WITH THAT
View Full Post Roses are red, Wait a damn minute… A priest farts in the middle of mass and says it was the Holy Spirit
View Full Post Before you marry someone, find out if their family drinks mimosas or runs 5k on holiday mornings
View Full Post I love when you hand a dog a treat and they are like, thanks, I’ll be having this in the other room. Excuse me.
